"Erwarte nichts - heute: Das ist dein Leben!" (Tucholsky)
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| Ideenjonglieren im Alltag "Erwarte nichts - heute: Das ist dein Leben!" (Tucholsky) |
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Freitag, Februar 21, 2003 21.02.03 Thinghs I should have done, questions I should have ask A movie in my mind, a recall „Alles auf Anfang!“: You again, standing up from my sofa after I read this wonderful goodnight-story „Eines schönen Tages im April als ich das 100%ige Mädchen sah“ from Haruki Murakami. You: Leaving my apartment very late at night, early in the morning. You’re always looking fresh, never tired. You seemed to have a secret. But: you leave. After this story I read for you. A spontanious selection with no thought behind, just the story. The story about finding and falling in love: there is the 100% girl for the 100% boy. Love forever; kitschy in a way but with these japanese voice. I read it often aloud, for others. Maybe not the kind of story you should read for someone who ... for someone who ... you don’t know that close, someone who might came up with a thought that I might came up with feelings for him which he couldn’t answer? Just a thought. Is it like that? But why the hell do you try to invite me for a Pop-Concert of these famous female Singer? Why couldn’t I give my enthousiastic feelings a place and say just „Great! Yes! Thank you!“; no, instead I neither say no nor yes, hiding my surprise, saying something that I have to think it over, because it depends on the date. A man asking a single woman to choose him for a concert without any explanations like „Oh, d’ya know, my girl-friend only likes Classic-Music“ or „We want to go there with some friends of mine, a group of very nice people“ – does it mean there is no girl-friend at all? What kind of game I might come into? Am I thinking too much? A spontanoius selection this short-story. Do you believe me? You want to drive home, a little bit to much alcohol, I think, but it’s your choice, I don’t mention your three glasses of wine. You want to drive home and you have to know. Although I offered you a place to sleep. It seemes to me out of a sudden, after this story, without any hugging. Well, you never hugged me until now. I’ve seen this evening you CAN it very smooth, tender, surprisingly. You hugged her good-bye, this tall and attractive a little asian-looking woman in the cafe, in a way it makes me turn my head, it was too private this scene, nothing for my eyes. I really would have known whether you kissed her when I turned away. So why the hell I turned my head? I really wouldn’t have the wish to see it, I guess. But I’m sure, if not there in the cafe – or anymore, you have had kissed her in the past. Sure. What does it mean, the past? Later lying in my bed, listening to the rising sun and seeing the birds awake the question came into my mind; this question I really should have asked you: „Your girlfriend might not agree if you spent a night out on a sofa of a woman you don’t know?“ Always switching between thinking too much and beeing out of thoughts. Would I met you in another way if I knew that you have a girlfriend? Is it like that? Once again: I don't know! What the hell DO I really know??!!! It's so easy to say Yes or No, but these inbetween things ... to mention them is much much more difficult. People expect fixed meanings, I guess ... sometimes. posted by Catherine | 2/21/2003 08:35:00 AM
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