"Erwarte nichts - heute: Das ist dein Leben!" (Tucholsky)
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| Ideenjonglieren im Alltag "Erwarte nichts - heute: Das ist dein Leben!" (Tucholsky) |
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Donnerstag, Juli 24, 2003 I don’t feel myself for myself anymore. When I was that glad I could’t belive? When did I cried last time in someone’s arms? When I kissed someone because I love him and not because of alcohol or carnival or ... When my enthousiasm flys me anway with energy in a flow? My enthousiasm kept inside and only spread outside for clients. To flirt, to ad, to seduce them – and to catch them. All my enthousiasm is to catch clients like a flie. Like one of these ugly anymals whichs catches ugly flies to survive. With his tonque. I have a boss. I’m not used to have bosses anymore. I’m not used to have start times and end times of work in a very fixed schedule in 5- minutes parts. Where every 5 minute delay can cost your job and your boss. I’m not used to it at all. Alltough I function. Me is in function. My boss likes how I catch them. With this enthousiasm. I feel like a child being praysed in front of class by her teacher, not knowing if that means that she might be seen as a swot. I won lots of new clients. I feel wrong in this place. I have nice colleagues. My colleague in her booth on my left looks ugly. On the right the guy looks ugly too. My afternoon colleague is Dave. He’s smart. Reminding me of Manuel. He told be about wanna being a writer. He siad lots of sympathic things on creativity, trying to be writer. He’s a very smart boy, good looking, although he’s blond and bue-eyed. Although. There only very little boys I like which are blond and blue-eyed. Like Manuel and him. Yesterday, waiting for next calls coming in – that really doesn’t mean waiting at all, there’s a 5 second countdown you can see maximun – waiting for next call I asked myself: how will he kiss? Could he image kissing ME? Today he told me about coming home early in the morning. When I will be again that early? Ina, I miss you. I miss these long long nights with fun and talks and night-rushs in pubs, at Rhein-River, these special mood you come in when the pubs are closed and your mind is open, you are couraged. Where and who is the one who will spent the next night with me? Later I heard Dave telling the last night again the girl on his right. The girl with the hoarse voice. She might ask him a noisy question. I didn’t get neither this nor his answer. But then she laughs out loud to me: „Hey, Dave kissed a girl for the first time this night!“ posted by Catherine | 7/24/2003 03:48:00 PM
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